The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
