dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
