I am full of burrito and curiosity
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
