I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
