I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
