I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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