If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
