it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
