I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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