she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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