She is in my trunk
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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