im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
