Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Bring me that man meat
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
