He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
