i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
