So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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