There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
