oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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