What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
