I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The beer is more important than you right now.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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