when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You ruined the universe
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
