3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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