hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
