so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize