8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
