i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
