You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
