I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
