I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
