i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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