Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
