i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
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it's like heaven, but drunker
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
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Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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