New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
