Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
