Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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