just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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