So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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