We need to rekindle our bromance
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
