yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
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There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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