the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My liver just had a heart attack.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize