i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
