She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
