Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
