I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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