Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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