I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
well you can't waste a boner
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
