Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize