sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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