I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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