Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
