life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
