Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
