so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
