im drinking this country out of the recession.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize