when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
