So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
