eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think your dad took our porno
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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