I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
