He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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