Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
