His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
