Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
