Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
