how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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